Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Week 1: Courage

When I first started my fitness journey, I thought about starting a public blog.  I thought about it off and on for nearly a week before I gave the idea a pass.  Looking back on that decision now, I realize it was a decision governed by fear.  I was afraid that I was going to fail, and who wants to chronicle their own failure and share it with the world?   Instead I started a physical scrapbook and started to record my journey with both pictures and text on those pages.  I did this for nearly four months before I started to realize it wasn’t enough.  There was a little part of me that kept pushing for an online blog, and that “voice” became even stronger when I was faced with difficult choices or dealing with the myriad of emotional issues that arise when I am faced with ignorance disguised as well-meant sentiments.  There are things on this journey that have really angered me.  Others have made me incredibly happy.

And I feel the need to honestly share those things, and it is a need that I can no longer ignore.  Yes, I’m still afraid, but I’m told by close friends and family that it is to be expected. After all, I intend to be completely honest about my feelings and experiences in this blog, and that leaves me out there and vulnerable.  But I think (and hope) that maybe chronicling my own journey, with all of its ups and downs, will help others on similar journeys feel that they are not alone in their struggle.

That being said, this post is the first in my Project 52, which I’ve titled “Weighing In With Words.”  Each post will center around a word or phrase that has deeply affected me on this journey, and I’ll be posting at least once a week for the next year.   And “courage” is a good word to start with, because after struggling with years of self-doubt and sometimes debilitating fear of complete and total failure, I’ve finally found my own.

2 comments:

  1. Excellent! Good to hear you finding your voice.

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  2. You go girl! You are doing so great, it always makes me smile to see your "Fitbit adjustment" posts on Facebook! I think the blog is an amazing idea, for your own benefit and everyone that stumbles upon it one way or another!

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